My Musical Language

if i should describe myself, i would call myself an explorer. that's really my mode and modus. what interests me. my drive. it maybe explains why, when i reached something artistically, i usually discarded it, and moved on. because i needed to move on, and to know more, to explore more.
this exploration has three basic roots for me.
one, knowledge from books and other media. ah, you're book-nerd, you might now think. well, maybe i am. but let me continue. i tried to read up on any imaginable topic, and even more. usually when i had something that interested me i tried to find as many books, theories, written stuff and possible and study it. it's a boon for me that public domain ebook libraries such as gutenberg.org exist now as this means i can read a lot more and faster than if i had to get my supply on the real world libraries here.
but, even as a child, i realised that getting information from books is not enough. you have to venture out in the world, deeply, to really explore things, to real get to know stuff. i felt, and later knew, that there is so much that is not in books, not chartered, not explored, that can only by understood by life itself.
it's only now that i realise that there can be a lot of value in "book knowledge", there were times when any written knowledge or theory was suspicious so me.
so, when i got into anarchism, i first got it to through books, essays, pamphlets. but i knew that to be a real anarchist, i needed to get really involved in the anarchist scene, really get connected with other anarchists - in real life. so one day i went down to the anarchist bookstore, where i never had been before, and a woman let me in and she made tea for me and she asked me a bit about my life and it was a bit of an awkward or curious situation for both of us. this was how i got involved with anarchism then eventually.
this was just my real life exploration regarding anarchism; i explored much more and much deeper, which might have room in another text. just let me give an example, various people had chosen me as a "master" for them, even though i never hinted at that or had mentioned a desire for this. not some sexual master, not what you think, you naughty boy/girl. a philosophical, sage-like master. at the age of 21,22, i should add.
so let's leave the real world exploration at that.
the third, and most important source for my exploring needs, was - surprise surprise - myself.
if i found a theory, a concept that i found interesting, i tried it on myself, to find out more, to learn more, to put it in practice, to gain something.
and also, i used myself to gain knowledge and insight; one's own mind, personality or intellect can really be a great source for that.
now, to come to the point, what has this to do with my music. well, i had the feeling, i had gathered a lot of knowledge and insight eventually. and i wanted to spread it. but i didn't do this in the language of words, but in the language of sounds. instead of writing a book, or a theory, i created tracks and sounds. but just as authors want to put through a message, an intent or a theory, i tried to do the same; just with music.